Inside the world of eating disorders

Hope Virgo and Emily Key talk about their battle with an eating disorder

In a world of disarray, disruption and distress, we all forage for something we can hold authority over, something of routine and structure. Sometimes, this entity we stumble on, appears worthwhile, yet, produces harmful consequences.

It embraces us so intimately that we struggle to escape from this structure.

Hope Virgo holding a 'Dump the Scales'

Author and award winning public speaker Hope Virgo recollects what she thought was her best friend, her way of stepping outside of reality-Anorexia.

“It gave me this value and sense of purpose. It removed me from the reality of actually growing up.” Says Hope.

Growing up as one of five siblings and with a brother who was constantly rushed in and out of A&E after being in accidents, Hope quickly believed her role was fixing situations, ignoring her own feelings.

“Whenever I had something to eat, I felt a failure inside of me” she says. Anorexia was a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma Hope had faced. Anorexia isn’t always the starting point of a person’s turmoil. But it can quickly consume your whole life. Hope was just 13 when the abuse started, it lasted nine months. He moved on and got married, leaving her to try and cope, to make sense of everything that had happened in her life.

Her friendship with anorexia became toxic: “I remember the dentist pointed out that all of my back teeth had started to crumble, I just pretended everything was fine,” she remarked.

It was Hope’s second child and adolescent mental health services appointment when she was diagnosed with anorexia.

“I was in denial. I just switched off. I went to CAMHS for six months. I had enough time to prepare to trick the system before my mum picked me up, so my weight looked like it had stayed the same. five months later my mum picked me up early, I didn’t have time to trick them.

Hope Virgo in a Secondary School giving a talk:

Permission to use photo

“I’d spend hours making myself sick. Locking the bathroom door. Turning on the shower. Water running over me. Feeling isolated.” Says Hope softly.

Hope Virgo's best selling book 'Stand tall little girl: Facing up to anorexia

Now, Hope continues fighting as a mental health campaigner to ‘Dump the Scales’ as well as being the author of ‘Stand Tall Little Girl’ and an ambassador for the ‘Shaw Mind Foundation’.

Eating disorders are so widely misunderstood that when a person seeks help, they are given boxes to tick. If you fit these categories, then your GP will help. if not, then what?

“Being overweight when I was younger, meant I was called Marshmallow at school. I lost weight and people started to say I looked better. It subconsciously made me want to be skinner and skinnier.” Says bulimia survivor, Emily Key.

Emily Key smiling: Permission to use photo

Emily weighed 52kg and spent more time revising calories in food than her degree in psychology. “I went to my GP in December but he said I didn’t fit in the guideline of getting help.” Emily recalls. “I got a letter in June saying I could go to an eating disorder clinic. It took them six months. By then it had gotten worse.

“Unless you look like a bag of bones, you won’t receive help.” Emily adds sadly.

A culture that focuses heavily on body image, forgets that “just because obese people aren’t a bag of bones, they still have eating disorders” Emily relayed.

As a culture, we misconstrue the difficulty a person faces in battling an eating disorder so we don’t stop to think about the upheaval a person faces. It isn’t a quick fix. It’s a process.

“I remember thinking: Why can’t I just be normal and have food like everyone else?” Says Emily. “I told my friend, talking to her saved my life.”

Emily Key and best friend: Permission to use photo